"I Am Still Learning"

-Leonardo DaVinci

How can I know what I am if I don't know everything I can be? I'm talking about religion. I was raised Roman Catholic in a family with somewhat of a religious background. My dad was very close to becoming a priest while my father's aunt, Sister Mary Ellen, was a nun at a nearby Basilica. My grandfather would read passages at the church I attended, and two close family friends are priests. I received communion, but was never confirmed. Recently, I've began to deviate from Catholicism. I am not Atheist as I believe in higher beings and spirits; nor am I truly Agnostic, because I know (for the most part) what it is I believe in. But I simply can't be sure that I agree with all aspects of any dogma unless, of course, I claim to be of my own religion, believing in my own set of beliefs. For the last few years, I've done just that, claiming to follow my own religion particular to my life and that of no one else. I cannot pretend there haven't been times in the last few years when I wished I could have turned to a religion. I used to mock religion for being a panacea to all peoples' problems, but then I hit the lowest point in my life, and I had no God to talk to. My makeshift belief system had no scripture to give me hope. When I needed it the most, I ridiculed others who swore by religion. But with good reason, I might add, for the most misguided and dishonest beings were the ones I knew to glorify their religious beliefs. People like those turned me off of organized religion.

But there's so much I don't know about life, and even less I know about faith. I am extremely spiritual, I just don't know how to apply my passion. In an attempt to feel a stronger connection to my life and the life around me, I plan to spend the next years belonging to a different religion each year. Maybe I will learn something about myself in the process.