The Journey To Self-worth

From liveonpurpose.info

"I think some of your confusion stem from your belief that nature and man-made environments are enemies, that they can't live harmoniously together. Human have always, and always will, need structures built to protect them from nature. So people like you, that care how we go about doing that when concerning our home planet are most needed. There are two ways of conserving natural areas, one is by stopping development all together, and the other is making sure that the development goes where it should and is built in such a way as to use the land most efficiently and healthfully to the people and the earth. I believe the former is an honorable goal but people need a place to live and grow also.

I will assume you got into architecture/urban planning because it holds your interest, so instead of feeling guilty for being a part of "destroying" some nature, be a voice in changing how we build to help preserve more open land and create biodiversity. Nature will create diversity and rich ecotones through "destruction", for example elephants tearing through forests or beavers cutting down trees and building dams.

You also may be getting too wrapped up by many of the terms like "treehugger", and "green", or possibly influenced by people that think any development (and developers) is/are evil. But the truth is they are just tools, and how you use them is up to you. When you are designing just do what you feel is right in your heart and what seems intelligent to you. If you want to help regain the old glory of the earth (for new times of course) you are going into one of the best positions for that. Keep at it.

I have to plug one of my hero's as he may be an inspiration for you and hopefully show you that man and nature can build together harmoniously. I HIGHLY suggest reading Ecocities and Ecocity Berkeley, both by Richard Register. There are also a number of great references to other books in the fields listed in Ecocities. Good luck." -response to my post on treehugger forum by Clutchlove

Eat Me

From the Vegetarian Resource Group (because I need to eat healthier)

Vegetarian Nutrition

Protein

Vegetarians easily meet their protein needs by eating a varied diet, as long as they consume enough calories to maintain their weight.
It is not necessary to plan combinations of foods. A mixture of proteins throughout the day will provide enough "essential amino acids." (See "Position of the American Dietetic Association: Vegetarian Diets," JADA, June 2003; Simply Vegan, 2006; and nutrition information on VRG's website, www.vrg.org.)

SOURCES OF PROTEIN: beans, lentils, tofu, nuts, seeds, tempeh, chickpeas, peas... Many common foods, such as whole grain bread, greens, potatoes, and corn, quickly add to protein intake.

Iron

SOURCES OF IRON: dried fruits, baked potatoes, mushrooms, cashews, dried beans, spinach, chard, tofu, tempeh, bulgur, and iron-fortified foods (such as cereals, instant oatmeal, and veggie "meats") are all good sources of iron. To increase the amount of iron absorbed at a meal, eat a food containing vitamin C, such as citrus fruit or juices, tomatoes, or broccoli. Using iron cookware also adds to iron intake.

Calcium

SOURCES OF CALCIUM: Good sources include broccoli, collard greens, kale, mustard greens, tofu prepared with calcium, low-fat dairy products, fortified soymilk, and fortified orange juice.

Vitamin B12

The adult recommended intake for vitamin B12 is very low. Vitamin B12 comes primarily from animal-derived foods. A diet containing dairy products or eggs provides adequate vitamin B12. Fortified foods, such as some brands of cereal, nutritional yeast, soymilk, or soy analogs, are good non-animal sources. Check labels to discover other products that are fortified with vitamin B12. Tempeh and sea vegetables are not a reliable source of vitamin B12. To be on the safe side, if you do not consume dairy products, eggs, or fortified foods regularly, you should take a non-animal derived supplement.

Omega-3

To maximize production of DHA and EPA (omega-3 fatty acids found in fish and made by our bodies), include good sources of alpha-linolenic acid in your diet. Alpha-linolenic acid is found in flaxseed, flaxseed oil, canola oil, tofu, soybeans, and walnuts. You can also obtain DHA directly from foods fortified with DHA from microalgae (in some brands of soymilk) and supplements containing microalgae-derived DHA.

Did You Know All These People Advocated Vegetarianism?

Leonardo Da Vinci, Leo Tolstoy, George Bernard Shaw, Mahatma Gandhi, Isaac Bashevis Singer (Nobel Prize winner), Albert Einstein (Nobel Prize winner), Janet Jackson, Mr. Rogers, Clara Barton, k.d. lang, Paul McCartney... Did you know Benjamin Franklin ate tofu?

Oxymoron

Thorncrown Chapel

I was browsing online in a desperate search for something that matches what I want to do with my life and found this chapel on inhabitats blog. I just want to save nature, more than I want to develop the human world. But I'm an aspiring architect....what an oxymoron...a tree-hugging architect.

Maybe I should read that book, "Design With Nature"

Man, this is a horrible feeling.

High Voltage Tattoo!!!!

"You wear your heart on your skin in this life" ~Sylvia Plath

Just bought this book today (though I've yet to see her show, L.A. Ink) after practically reading all of it in the book store a few months ago :)

I'm very excited about it, still, not nearly as excited as I am about Avatar. The scenery and graphics were fucking beautiful {pardon my french}. And the story was so unique even if the basis of it was derived mainly from the traditional Pocahontas/John Smith story, there was so much more to it. The character development was very in depth and the execution of it all was perfect.


The only downside....I am now having a midlife crisis at age 22, hating myself for the job I have. I feel so conflicted. What is quite apropos about this feeling is what I learned before seeing the movie. In the morning, Shane and I visited the Leonardo da Vinci: Genius exhibit at the MD Science Center. In the BBC film you could watch at the end, it explained how da Vinci was a pacifist, yet he was smart to design military equipment as he lived in a time of war. I wish I could remember the exact quote, it was worded quite nicely. But I feel like that, exactly like that. I love nature, I love untouched land, yet I'm working as an urban designer for an architecture firm in a profession that destroys nature. Regardless of any and all progression this industry has made towards sustainability, I can not ignored the fact that the natural world constantly suffers for what we do...for what I do.

I am John Smith, I am the selfish human...the alien in Avatar which kills the forest for its resources.....yet I have more of a personal and emotional connection with the Na'vi.

More and more I think the Goucher Cultural Sustainability Master's program is something that might be right up my alley. I just don't know where a degree like that would leave me.

I Want....

dark hair
another tattoo
to go back to school and get a master's degree in.....art? art history? architecture? urban/environmental design? historic preservation?


Troll man I found in my rendering at work today :)

Dear Life...

I missed a few things along the way....can I start over? I never studied abroad, and I REALLY wanted to. I never gave NYC a chance. I've lost touch with nature, I stopped singing, and now I'm loosing art. Not to mention I've practically lost all my friends already. I never made those visits during school I promised them. We didn't have those Summer reunions. I am in love and I'm happy, but I just feel like I'm missing so much....there's a part of me that's missing. I just don't know where to look for it.

This awesome Dragon Sleigher ecard is my brother's work

Break Me Off A Piece....

of your winter break please? I have to go back to work on Monday....ew. I love the job, but I hate seeing my life waste away and go by so quickly because I'm always working. I don't want to work, it's a part of life, a part of life that I'd rather spend enjoying with friends and family. Now that my week off is almost over, I'm realizing all the things I didn't get done. All the errands I planned to make, all the chores I wanted to knock out....all I did was play video games haha. Time well spent? Probably so.

My mom's Aunt and Uncle are in from California this weekend, I love to see them!

Let's Recap...

...on all the wonderful things I got for Christmas!
Another Christmas with my baby <3
Happiness
Steel Pan (lifelong dream)
Pocket watch
Koi necklace
Mixed tape of love
Little Big Planet (Wander and Fiddle!)
Owl Napkin Rings (=P)
Black Pearl Pandora charm

Then of course, clothes, panties, candies, a nice bottle of wine, calligraphy books, a yule log ornament(!), music, eco-friendly lunchboxes, etc.

Music to Look Into

METAL:

Becoming the Archetype
Machinemade God (Bought album "Masked" 12.28.09)
It Dies Today (I really want to like this band...but 2 years after I first heard about them, I can't say I would buy their music)

ALTERNATIVE:
Shinedown (If it weren't embarrassing to listen to this kinda music I might already own a song of theirs)

POP:
Lady Gaga (Crazy, I know)

Spoiled Little Rich Kids

snow storm 12/19/2009

Well this Christmas was absolutely terrific! I've made public the things that I've wanted for some time, not so that people would buy them for me, just because I wanted to share my neat finds and to remind myself to someday get them. But everything I've mentioned wanting in the last few months I've gotten! And I feel bad about it! I feel spoiled and greedy, but I never intended for anyone o give me the things I've said I wanted. The exceptions being a mixed (tape) that Shane made me and the steel drum set I have listed on my Christmas list for 6 or more years. But I once mentioned 2 finds on etsy.com that I would have liked to buy for myself. Shane saw them and bought both for me! And on facebook, I linked the coolest little owl napkin rings, and my kris kringle bought me those! The one I feel most guilty about is the book I told Seth has been on my Christmas list for years now, the one that he then gave me from his own library. In retrospect, it must have sounded like a hint, but it certainly wasn't. Everything else I received was everything I could have ever wanted and more! It was the best Christmas!

Geothe said of Rome:

What has not been destroyed by war, has been destroyed by the architects."

Twenty Things

Twenty things I've learned about Wicca

1. It's history and traditions are far from what you are told and led to understand as a child. There is no satan worshiping and Wiccan Witchcraft is never about hurting anyone.
2. There are infinite interpretations of the craft, and it is even acceptable for a witch to draw from other religions.
3. Wicca is about duality; good and evil, male and female, day and night
4. There is energy and spirit in everything
5. Everyone, not just the Wiccan, is affected by the energy around them, which is particularly noticeable during the full moon.
6. Certain religions, such as Christianity, have drawn from Pagan beliefs and used them to their advantage so as to make their religion more prevalent or to force their beliefs unto others. Whereas Wiccans don't believe in proselytizing.
7. Wiccans believe in a threefold karma. Whatever you do, good or bad, will come back to you
8. Meditation and focus are very important, still very difficult for me, personally, to achieve.
9. Witches assume the roles of protectors, and are responsible for making sure those without voices are heard. Many witches are vegan or vegetarian, and all believe in caring for the Earth.
10. Esbats and Sabbats revolve around celestial events, the solstices and the equinoxes. The wheel of the year is a never ending cycle or birth, growth, death and rebirth.
11. Time of day/month is important not only in magick, but in self exploration. The time of birth will predetermine much of a person's character.
12. After death, a spirit will continue in the world where it will either return into the life of another or stick around to be a guardian or spirit guide to another.
13. The most important line of the Rede of the Wiccae is "an it harm not, do what you will" and it sums everything up.
14. There are numerous traditions, all unique to the other
15. There's much to be understood about your current situation, just by looking at what's around you
16. Colors may hold personal connections for an individual, but they also have other universal qualities
17. No magick should be done for another without asking their permission
18. Animals are considered to live lives of perfect love and perfect trust, thus being allowed to move freely through magick circles
19. There is a difference between magic and magick. One is reserved for people like Chris Angel
20. A male witch is not called a warlock. A warlock is a witch that has broken an oath and thus been ostracized from the community. times three.

Twenty Things I Want To Learn About Wicca

1. Working with and combining pantheons
2. Using runes
3. Meditative healing, balance through healing
4. When it is and is not appropriate to do magickal work for mundane things, how to incorporate magick into daily life
5. Doing quick magick. Other religions can say a quick prayer for perform a simple act in honor of their religion. Witchcraft, however, seems like much more needs to be done in a process or in the right conditions.
6. I don't quite understand whether or not a circle must be cast for everything. For my Yule festivities, do I need a circle or do I celebrate the evening throughout my entire home? What about kitchen magick, do you put a circle in the kitchen? Do I have to draw up a circle for every spell I cast? Or only in ritual?
7. What can a solitary do to be recognized in the community?
8. How do you know when all other options have been exhausted and its time to turn to magick?
9. How can I talk to the spirits and energies around me? Can I ask them for their help for small things? Like helping me rid a headache at work?
10. Can I address the Lord and Lady outside of a circle? I've come to understand you don't ask them for things, but what about if I need guidance or support, or if I wish to ask for care to be shown to the animals I see killed on the side of the road when it's unsafe and there isn't the time for pulling over. Once again, if I were to pull over, need I cast a circle to say a blessing?
11. What are the consequences of using a magickal tool for mundane uses, or temporarily using a mundane item for magickal purposes?
12. Making magickal potions and making talismans, amulets, and charms.
13. Can I bless and put energy into things to be used for mundane purposes? When does it get to be too much, and no longer special? Can I bless every meal and put energy into every dish?
14. Couldn't it be seen as disrespectful to tell nature through spell to or not to do something? Should nature be allowed to take its course?
15. Using stones and crystals
16. Understanding astrology and determining each days planetary order
17. Ways to defend Wicca, calmly, to skeptical people
18. Accepting or justifying certain lifestyle choices I've made for health, comfort and enjoyment, that may not embody Wiccan principles in their entirety but that help me to live an easier life.
19. Not only a Wiccan issue, I want to be able to grow and nurture a plant without killing it.
20. How to be a better person.

30 Second Catch Up

I stumbled across this awesome blog the other day....it was mine! I was super excited to see it on the first search page...I google image'd something, clicked on a visually interesting thumbnail and what did I get but my own blog! Of course I didn't recognize the image since it was an image I linked, but it was awesome nonetheless.

Yule is Monday, and there is much that needs to be done, though this looming blizzardish snowstorm coming from the South seems menacing and could be a problem.

Grrr....my computer has been annoyingly slow lately. Mainly browsing the internet but in general, too. I need to address this. Well, as the time becomes available I will write about my Yule adventures, right there's business to attend to.

Becoming a Witch

An excerpt from Solitary Pagan

Gary Cantrell also expressed this well when he wrote, "Truly becoming a witch, be it done as a Solitary or in Coven, is a deeply moving and profound mental, spiritual, emotional, and sometimes even physical experience. It is an awareness of your connection to the God and Goddess, an awareness or maybe even a reawakening of your eons-old link through your ancestors to that wonderful and all-encompassing things we call Nature. The feelings and emotions that will surge through you when you experience that awakening are impossible to describe with the written word. They will alter your heart and raise your soul. They will leave an everlasting mark on all who experience that awakening with an impact on your very psyche that is almost physical, and your life will be forever changed. Once you truly acknowledge and accept your rightful title of witch, regardless of how it is conferred, you will never again be the same." (page 9)

So I Have a Lot of Questions....

Perfect compass with the Tree of Life on Etsy by JewelsbyNature

First, why is it taking so long to finish this book! I have like 8 more, and I still have a quarter left to read.

More importantly, though, I have questions regarding the content of the book, and what I don't understand of it. Like where do I begin!? Obviously, I've already gained so much information but I feel like I need to at least finish the book before I can even get started...but how do I know that what comes later in the book will have me completely prepared? Certainly it would be easier to learn from a coven, but I just think that finding one that I completely agree with might be difficult. But I wonder if I would even be recognized in the community as an educated and practiced witch if I didn't belong to a coven. I don't want all this hard work to be for nothing. And I don't know how well I grasp some of the Rede of the Wiccae.

21. With the fool no season spend
or be counted as his friend

So basically, should I judge someones character/personality and not be their friend because? Or does a fool mean more than what I know it to be? Then there's ...

25. True in love ever be
unless they lover's false to thee.

If you know me at all, this hits home hard. So whatever happened to forgiveness? Or does this assume there was no apologies or recognition on the lover's part?

There are technical concerns, too. Like what if the tools I used for magick were used for a mundane purpose? What are the consequences? Why am I never supposed to use it for mundane purposes again once I've used it for magick? And how, then, do some people make their mantels their altars? The book also says to resist the temptation to invite a friend to ritual. It uses the scenario of wanting to show off knowledge, which wouldn't be why I'd invite someone, but rather to share the experience with them. Like Shane, should I never invite him? I'm certain I'd sometimes want him to be a part of it so long as he's willing. My next question is obviously a minor detail, but this book suggests I make my Book of Shadows a loose leaf book and take only the sheets I need to into ritual. But, you see, I think loose leaf is a little tacky if you can't get good paper, and where can I get good paper? And where can I get a unique looking binder type book to keep it in? And I like the idea of keeping all my magick notes with me in ritual. After all, isn't there energy in the written work I do as well? My only concern doing it my way, is how do I find an old spell I wrote if I can't alphabetize it? Where I really get confused, however, is when we begin to mention the quarters and the 5 points of the pentagram. For example, a censer represents Air and is to be placed in the Eastern part of my alter. But if I substitute a cauldron for my censer, I now represent fire, so does it then go in the Northern or Eastern Part? And then how does the pentagram itself get oriented, it would be impossible for it all to be in the right direction...so spirit goes at the top?

There are so many more....

• The pentagram is also referred to as the Devil's Star, but would witches call it that if we don't associate it with evil?
• Not relating to witchcraft, why does the moon grow right to left and English is read left to right?
• If Samhain is the Wiccan New Year, why does The Witches' Almanac say it starts with Ostara, the Vernal Equinox? And then even more perplexing, why does it actually start with Yule once you open it?
• Samhaim is clearly one of the most significant Sabbats, but when most friends and relatives celebrate that evening, should I abandon them? Yes, I care about this, very much so, but let's be honest, if Halloween is on a weekend, not many parties will be on different nights.
• And Yule, I know some traditions will carry over, but do I need to abandon my childhood (Christian-ish) family traditions? P.S. I'm curious to know how Wiccans view chopping down Christmas trees, because it bothers me.
• As for staying within one pantheon, does that mean forever? Can I work within multiple as long as I don't mix and match?
  
• Lastly, I've been reading about all the different guests you can invite to ritual. Surely, I'm going to make a mistake and piss someone off, why should I even bother?

Phew....that's a lot....and I still have 9 more chapters to go...

Witchy Woman

As a dedicate, I will need a magickal name. I'm having trouble finding it, so I'm going to answer a few questions from the Idiot's Guide...

1.) Do you have an affinity for a particular God or Goddess whom you have read about?

Yes, Gaia. I admire her and since I have known of her, I have always felt a stronger connection with her as a Goddess than with the Chrisitian God. When I began to lose my connection with Catholicism, I knew there was one thing I could believe in: Mother Earth. The only downside is that she's not an Irish Goddess, she's Greek. And I'm more interested in Celtic traditions.

2.) Do you have a favorite myth or legend? What is it? Who are the characters? With which one do you identify most strongly?

I'll get back to you on this one... I was having trouble thinking of them, then I thought about the movie Robin Hood, though I would rather associate myself with a female character. Then, this morning, I found my Irish Myth, Legend and Folklore book from my grandparents. I thought it were a sign. But all the stories are more like ghost stories and about fairies and bad witches. I'm going to look into my art books because I KNOW there's someone. For now, there's Robin Hood. The phoenix is also intriguing, though it's not like I've had a lifelong fixation with it.

3.) Is there a species of animal that is special to you? What qualities does that animal have?

The wolf. Teacher, Intuition, Loyaltiy, the Shadow, Devoted, Loving, Intelligent, "Strength and knowledge to stand alone...knows the importance of family and friends."

4.) Are you particularly drawn to one of the four Elements- Air, Fire, Water, or Earth? What about other natural substances such as different types of wood or metals?

While I love being in and near water, I have a strong appreciation and connection with Earth. Wood or metal? Well, I like silver, but I have no strong connection with it or any other metal. I'm not sure I understand what is meant by wood? Not tree? Ok, well I like Mahogony, but that's not much of a name... Because that's the next question...

5.) What is your favorite plant? Favorite flower? Favorite tree?

I have a respect for Oak, however, for it's history with human kind. I'll look into wood some more as I'm sure I'm forgetting a tree that I do like. Favorite plant? Bamboo for it's renewable qualities? Flower is the black rose, though, I'm aware that's not a real flower....I've always liked forest related names: Sylvia/Sylvana

What about adding words to the end.....like heart, oak or whisper....I think I have it...though I think I'll keep it to myself and the Wiccan community and not on the world wide web...... an update...I tried my hardest to think about choosing a name as I fell asleep, reading that it may come to me in my dreams and it didn't work. Other, more depressing current events of my life kept popping up. But after having thought of the name, I dreamed that I was using it on applications in the Wiccan community! I bought a car yesterday, maybe that's because of all those forms I was filling out...maybe it's a sign that it works?

All this I need to do research on....or shouldn't I? I would rather it come to me....I'll sleep on it.

Do You Believe In Magick?

Magick...not magic. Magick is the realm of witches and may include healing, the harnessing of psychic forces, and even divination. "Performing magick makes you feel good. It's a healthy form of self expression because the magick in witchcraft comes from the power that is already within you."

The most powerful change that a person can make is change from within.

As I begin my research on the religion, my original reasons for choosing Wicca have been reaffirmed.

Witches use natural energies to enhance their lives and to heal and protect themselves, their loved ones, and the Earth.

Wiccan witches try to live in harmony with Nature and take responsibility for the environment.

In The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft, Second Edition, the first book I've opened out of a recent haul from a trip to Ukazoo books, and from which the above quotes are pulled, witchcraft is explained in a way that anyone can understand. It also corrects old misconceptions as it shows how simple and pure the theology of Wicca actually is.

Wiccans believe they must act for the good of all, including themselves.

It's reassuring to read some of the book's suggestions with regards to negative circumstances in your life, which relates directly to my recent past. If something bad happens, you are to ask yourself, " What am I supposed to learn from this?" Everything happens for a reason, I suppose. But also, in a list of basic principles written in the 1970s, the Council of American Witches (no longer in existence) said, "We are concerned with our present and future." The authors of the book later follow with "So look ahead and avoid dwelling on the past." Advice that I've always had trouble taking to heart, no matter how much I wish I would. I only hope that through my study and experiences of Wicca traditions, I will one day reach my goal of living entirely in the present and not at all in the past. Rather than worry about what once was, as a Wicca, I can enjoy the little things in life and learn what it means to be on this Earth and to be a part of life on Earth.

The only time a Wiccan must think about the past is when karma comes around. Karma is just a lesson, and it will force us to think about our past actions and learn not to make the same mistake again. The negativity of karma may not come back at you right away, but it will come back. Obviously, karma is meant to prevent harmful behavior. And the Wiccan Rede is a principle central to Wiccan belief that Wiccans live by.

An it harm none, do what ye will.

It basically sums up the ten commandments in one phrase. In whatever you decide, choose what will cause the least harm. Pretty powerful, huh?

In the second chapter, I learned a little bit about the history and influences of witchcraft. One group which I'm particularly interested it, be it my Irish background or the fact that I used to play as this class in video games, are the Druids. The Druids expanded on the ancient Shaman's practice by refining their knowledge and putting it to practice. Like other pagan religions, the Druids suffered religious persecution and their population dwindled. Though it wasn't explained too elaborately in the book, I plan to look into Druids more.

As I conclude my studies for the week, I'll recite and post a rhyme meant to increase tolerance in myself and in people around me:

We should learn from the Earth's
Most patient teachers
That religious tolerance
Be one of our features.
In all human hearts,
Have this light shine.
Let us all welcome it
Through spirit, body, and mind.
Water it and nurture it.
Let it continue to grow.
So suffering and loneliness
No longer will know.
For what you sent out
Returns to thee times three.
This is my will.
So mote it be.

Let The Games Begin!

So why, you ask, do I want to sample all these different religions? Well, I am a spiritual person, and what to be a child of religion, but in the broadest sense possible. I want to know the beliefs that shape the people around me, and understand life so that I might make better choices. I also have Catholicism to thank, because had I not been frustrated with it, I wouldn't have felt the need to explore other options.

Though I cannot blame the entire religion for the corrupt behavior of some of its clergy, I am disappointed in the Catholic church nonetheless. Furthermore, I can not agree with some of its teachings. My brother is gay, I am pro choice (even if I would never get an abortion myself, I would never tell another living and capable woman what she can and cannot do), and call me Doubting Thomas, but I'm not so sure Jesus did all those things the Bible says he did.

Hence, the sampling shall commence. I will begin with Neopaganism. Though that is just one term describing a wide variety of movements, perhaps it would be easier than breaking down into all the different denominations. For example, I'm interested in Wicca, but not so much in the sexual intercourse initiation rite....eh, it's not for me. I'm drawn to Paganism because of my interest in nature. Yes, it's more than just witchcraft (though I'm kind of excited to learn about spells. Alas, that most likely only comes after that sex thing I mentioned.....). I've made a few new contacts so far, and will be exploring them further this weekend.

We're off!

"I Am Still Learning"

-Leonardo DaVinci

How can I know what I am if I don't know everything I can be? I'm talking about religion. I was raised Roman Catholic in a family with somewhat of a religious background. My dad was very close to becoming a priest while my father's aunt, Sister Mary Ellen, was a nun at a nearby Basilica. My grandfather would read passages at the church I attended, and two close family friends are priests. I received communion, but was never confirmed. Recently, I've began to deviate from Catholicism. I am not Atheist as I believe in higher beings and spirits; nor am I truly Agnostic, because I know (for the most part) what it is I believe in. But I simply can't be sure that I agree with all aspects of any dogma unless, of course, I claim to be of my own religion, believing in my own set of beliefs. For the last few years, I've done just that, claiming to follow my own religion particular to my life and that of no one else. I cannot pretend there haven't been times in the last few years when I wished I could have turned to a religion. I used to mock religion for being a panacea to all peoples' problems, but then I hit the lowest point in my life, and I had no God to talk to. My makeshift belief system had no scripture to give me hope. When I needed it the most, I ridiculed others who swore by religion. But with good reason, I might add, for the most misguided and dishonest beings were the ones I knew to glorify their religious beliefs. People like those turned me off of organized religion.

But there's so much I don't know about life, and even less I know about faith. I am extremely spiritual, I just don't know how to apply my passion. In an attempt to feel a stronger connection to my life and the life around me, I plan to spend the next years belonging to a different religion each year. Maybe I will learn something about myself in the process.

Halloween!

Free Burrito Day at Chipotle!

My friend and i sat in my car, looking at each other wrapped in tin foil...

"are we really going to walk into Chipotle like this? what if no one else is doing it? what if our pitiful attempt isn't good enough? we look more like robots than burritos...will they still give us one? will we walk away in shame? ho...w embarrassing will this be on a scale of 1-10?"

Sigh, this is the first time I've hung out with this girl alone, and this will surely be the last.

As we walk across the parking lot, I spot a shiny man from afar. We aren't the only ones! I wave in excitement. Braced for strange looks, we walk in the door, only to find dozens of human burritos. Wearing tin foil sombreros and tin foil eye patches, one donning a tin foil mohawk. And a metallic army follows behind us! Chipotle never tasted so delicious.

And as I fount out last night, wearing tin foil makes you incredibly hot. useful knowledge for when the world freezes over.