The Wood Song

Everything's Changing

I've been so busy lately, I haven't had the time to worry about the past....still, it seems as though nothing can keep the pain from rising to the surface eventually.



I went to the Leon Krier lecture at Goucher College this evening... autographed book #2 added to my library. I wish I had been exposed to Leon and his work prior to graduation, I would have had much better support for my arguments defending my work to my teachers, and my thesis would have made a hell of a lot more sense to me. He's a character, he adds just the right touch of humor to his theories, making it interesting and understandable.

On another note, I've taken it as my responsibility to look after the baby chipmunk living outside my door. It's possible the dead chipmunk I found on my back porch the other night was a parent of this lil guy-though it was small enough to have been a sibling- so I've devoted a few minutes each day to collecting the best acorns I can find and leaving them near their home. Nudge brought the poor thing into the house yesterday, cradled in her jaws. Luckily, she hadn't hurt it, I assume she meant for the killing of it to be a gift for me. Well. at least this chipmunk was smarter than the one she brought me a year or so ago, also still alive....this guy found his way outside, whereas I had to catch the first one with oven mits.

The drawings above are from work at SHA. It's been very encouraging to hear Seth's compliments towards my ability to render trees and my keen eye for relationships between objects. Even if he wont be using this drawing (I can understand he needs multiple drawings finished quickly and I just can not meet those needs, as of yet) I'm proud of my work, and humbled by it. I also think it's a little silly that he might have expected me to be a graduate with a Bachelor of Fine Arts and not be able to draw. Not that I find myself particularly spectacular, only that...hey...I spent 4 years in an art school. Why wouldn't I be able to draw something at least halfway decently?

No Name

What the hell will it say upon my grave?
Here lies that son of a bitch not rich or famous
Ignoramus
Hey
No black graffiti says, "I live" "am God" or "Save"
You can be sure there'll be no flowers or eternal flame
R.I.P. you no name













I hope I don't get in trouble for posting this....a project we're working on at SH

Who Knew Yellow Nail Polish Was So Much Fun!?

Well I was cornered into attending a charrette in Lampeter, PA, just south of Lancaster, today. Drive an hour and a half to stay for 6 hours, drive home another hour and a half. On top of that, Mount Clare FINALLY got on the ball, though it seems a bit too late as they're now pressured to finish on time. My last week before I start a real job, and commit to working full time and I'm working for free, morning until night. And though both are supposed to compensate me, I've yet to see a penny from either (well, from Mount Clare since I last saw them, this project should be over by now!!!).

Anywho....this real world thing is crap.....at least I have cool "Lellow" nail polish!

Count My Blessings

I should really work on that.

I am a very lucky person, no matter how often I blame things on my bad luck. Those little things are really nothing. In Gauntlet, a card game where you always have a 50-50 chance of guessing right, either red or black or higher or lower, I seem to always guess wrong. To the point where I run out of cards. When 7 red cards have been played in a row, the smart thing would be to guess black. But I'd be wrong. If that same scenario happens so often, I'd guess red, and I would still be wrong. It's my luck. I never win at those sorts of things.

But when it comes to my life...I'm pretty fortunate. I had a rough relationship for a while, one that caused me a lot of pain, but at least I have him now, and we're happy. I may not have been offered a job at any place close, or offered as much money as I would have hoped for, but at least I have a job.

I may not be able to afford new clothes, but at least I'm not naked.

O Hai, Welcome Back Familiar Feeling of Emptiness

Shane went off to hang out with his friends this evening. The only problem was that he had asked me to spend the night with him, and I had planned on doing so, except he never called back. I accepted that he had ditched me, but it brought back memories of nights when I would stay up, knowing where he was, letting it bother me all night long. Regardless of how upset his whereabouts made me, I would wait up for the call to let me know that he was on his way home, and just to hear him say he loved me.

I shouldn't have been so mad about it, but I haven't felt that same loneliness in forever. I think it scared me. It just doesn't seem fair to me, or to him, that for her, it was just some young relationship fling. But for me, this is my life, it's the person I've chosen to marry, and I have to accept that he has done all those things that hurt me....and try not to get mad at him for stupid things like spending time with friends, when he's not doing anything wrong now, just because I can't get the times he had done me wrong.

I love him dearly, I've been upset lately because we've had a few disagreements. When I try to apologize, though, he wont let me. He says that I should never have to apologize to him after what he had done to me. Saying that was the first time I've truly felt his sincerity in remorse for his past actions. It's not as though I want him to grovel...but I never really see him feel bad about it, which is really all I need to know that he isn't some heartless automaton.

HOLY CRAPOLY!!!!

I've just arranged my very first job interview!!!!!! And with my 3rd choice firm (1st considering choices 1 & 2 aren't hiring)!

http://www.sethharry.com/

And I spoke with Seth himself on the phone! Not as if I know him, or that he's even well known, he may be but golly if I know. I SHOULD know...man, I've got to do my research! Ok.....it's 42 minutes away, a rough commute in traffic. But GOD am I happy that at least ONE firm has responded, and it hasn't even been a week! I didn't need to call them back, they called me!!!

What do I wear!? Is it possible to be over dressed? What do I bring? How do I show my work? ANSWER ME, BLOG!

Oh who am I kidding, I shouldn't be wasting my time talking to a blog! There's so much I need to do!

Today Would Be a Great Day to Die!

Sketches of Corpus Christi on Mount Royal Ave.

For much of my spiritual growth, I owe thanks to Lori Bard Rubenstein (I believe that's how you spell her name) and her Family Matters course. She taught me about familial relationships and how primitive cultures have such great respect for nature and for one another. She told the class that each day, she would wake up, walk outside and declare out loud and with sincerity:

"Today would be a great day to die!"

She said to live each day to it's fullest and to never fear death. She admitted it was a tough thing for her to say, but still did it anyway. I, however, have found it incredibly more difficult than expected, and have only a few times in the past two years brought up the courage to say it. I am still learning and growing and there is still so much I want to do. And now that all the turmoil from a rocky few years with Shane has past, I don't want to lose him; I'm not ready to end it. I want even more to see the next day, when often times before I wanted each day to be my last. I'm happy now, so happy.

Less Than Three

Love is a friendship set to music.

~E. Joseph Cossman

Under the Influence

I've taken some great classes in my life. Which makes me a little upset that school's actually done for me. I just wish I could stay in school indefinitely. My entire outlook of education changed when I began to learn what I actually wanted to. But I owe a lot of my success (what little of it there is to show right now, at least) to some specific teachers and mentors.

First and foremost, John Wilson was a better mentor than I could have asked for, and I do intend to go back to MICA this fall (sneaking in, of course) to sit in on his classes a second time around.

There are so many more: Jenny Carson who made Art History actually exciting, I wish I had he earlier on so I could have taken more of her courses; Firmin DeBrabander taught me about environmental ethics, and is really the one to thank for my change in career goals; John Ruggeri, a quirky drawing teacher from SVA who wore sneakers and retro glasses, taught me how to draw, he took me on as a special student, and made me feel like my art was worth a second look. Looking back, there's so much I loved about school!

I never really thanked these teachers like I should have. I feel guilty. But I don't know what I can do now, as I'm sure they've all long since forgotten me.

Mr. Kuhlman's AP Art class, Senior year of High School, 2005

Drinkin the Creative Bubbly

Art has always been there for me to fall back on. When upset about middle school drama....draw. When bored in class...doodle...

When you don't know where to turn or what to do, make art.

It exercises the mind and the heart, and allows for you to see the beauty in life more clearly.

Artists, however, often find themselves trapped under the definition of the word. What is art? Well, art is anything. Now, saying that is incredibly difficult for me as I, myself, am often frustrated to see certain performance or sculptural pieces called art. It's not always easy to see, but art is art. And that's that.

One of my favorite artists of all time would be Norman Rockwell. He endured the harsh criticism, and was never really given the praise he deserved because he wasn't accepted. No one took him seriously. But his ability to capture a scene is stunning and quite moving. And he deserves recognition.


My High School art teacher, Mr. Kuhlman, who many would agree was a wonderful mentor- a teacher who has many a student now graduated with an art related degree- prepared me better for art school than I could have asked for. Most of MICA's silly foundation requirements taught me what I had already learned from Mr. Kuhlman, and no one else even knew.

One particular assignment he gave us was to imitate an old (at least a decade old) work from a well known artist and to make it contemporary. I chose Norman Rockwell's Buttercup.

Two innocent children are caught in a moment. They might as well be kissing as the young boy leans in to hold a buttercup beneath the girls chin while a pup stares as if anticipating their first encounters with love.


It was 2005, my senior year, and I couldn't even see how close I was to love.

Here is my rendition. And while looking at it now, I'm not as pleased as I once was, I'm still satisfied.

I've lost a lot of my work since High School....a lot of my work from college, too (and I just graduated a few months ago!). I'll start uploading things to this blog to ensure I wont lose anymore! I'll do my best to upload chronologically.